Behaviors your Kids Will Imitate

Kids learn by example.  It's a simple fact of life.  When they see you writing thank you notes for gifts, driving defensively, keeping your cool under pressure, or problem solving calmly with your spouse, they learn.  They can see a positive way to deal with the situation in question; and when they see others behaving poorly, they'll think, "I know how to do that better."

Unfortunately, no parent is perfect.  You're not going to do everything just right, all the time, and that means that sometimes your kids are going to see a bad example in your behavior.  What can you do?  First and foremost: talk.  If you've realized you've made a mistake, talk to your kids and let them know that you did something wrong.  This turns a bad example into a good one: your child sees you analyze your own behavior and take steps to fix what's wrong.

Here are some behaviors to watch out for in yourself or your kids.  If your kids have any of these behaviors, ask yourself where they might have learned them.  And if it's you...take responsibility!

Child Development in Action

I was at the park a few days ago and observed something so developmentally text-book, interesting and, frankly, cute that I can't help but recount it.  A small girl, preschool aged, was playing in the sand, and tossed it gently a few times, not more than a few inches from her hand.  Easily seeing where this was leading, her mother promptly told her not to throw the sand; two, three, four times, she warned her persistent child against it, in a tired, patient tone. Finally, the child approached her older sibling, playfully, with a handful of sand, and the mother caught her arm.  She gently but firmly insisted that no more sand was to be thrown.

This time the child listened, un-distracted, and understood that her mother was serious.  Another girl of about the same age happened past the sand box a moment later.  When the strange girl looked down at the sand, the first girl informed her, authoritatively, "You can't throw the sand."